51 Comments
User's avatar
Grace B's avatar

Dominika, I am so sorry for your loss. My closest friend died almost exactly 2 years ago from brain cancer and your description of grief is very familiar to what I experienced too. It was horrible to bury a friend and I can only imagine the depth of pain of losing a sibling. I will pray for you, your family, and your brother.

Dominika's avatar

Thank you so much, Grace. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend, as well. It is absolutely horrible.

Melody Grubaugh's avatar

I'm so sorry for your loss—will say a prayer for you, your family, and your brother's soul.

Dominika's avatar

Thank you, Melody. I appreciate it!

Melisa Capistrant's avatar

Dominika, I don't know what to say, except that I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I will continue praying for you and your family, that God will give you all consolation and peace. I don't recall whether I shared this with you, but I lost my only brother, Mathew, to end-stage liver disease in 2022. Then last May, I lost my best friend Amy to cancer (what began as breast cancer that metastasized). I find it true what you say in here about things arranging themselves in light of what you're going through when you're grieving, and I think this is a mercy God gives us. Thank you for writing this: I'm sure it cannot have been easy. God be with you and your family.

Dominika's avatar

Thank you, Melisa. I'm so sorry for your losses, as well. Death is so brutal. A constant reminder to hold loosely to the things of this world.

Margaret's avatar

Wishing you every comfort and grace these days as you face your grief. May his soul rest in the Peace of Christ. Thank you for sharing this with us all.

Dominika's avatar

Thank you, Margaret!

Shelby Arnette's avatar

Beautiful Dominika. Praying that the peace of Christ would envelop you and your family.

Dominika's avatar

Thank you, Shelby!

Christy Isinger's avatar

Oh, what a terrible loss. Heartbreaking doesn't even cover it. I am glad you're finding solace in some words out there when I know that it is such a hard experience to begin to put into words. May John rest in peace and eternal light shine upon him. Prayers for your whole family in their grief.

Dominika's avatar

Thank you, Christy. It's been completely devastating, but through all his illness, I felt like I witnessed the Body of Christ made visible in a way I'd never experienced before. So, so many people praying for my brother and for my family.

The Bird Soup Diaries's avatar

I’m so sorry for your loss. 🕊️😔

Anna Tuckett's avatar

I’m very sorry for your loss, Dominika, and such an untimely one, too. Thank you for sharing your thoughts amidst your grief, so beautifully written.

Dominika's avatar

Thank you, Anna.

Elizabeth Brink's avatar

Dear Dominika, bless you for writing this and for bringing light, both from other writers and yourself, into this dark grief of being human. I'm struck by Alice Thomas Ellis' damp chick imagery too. My family and I thought my newly born niece looked so much like a newly hatched chick in those first couple weeks. I love the image of the passing from death to eternal life also being like emerging from a shell into the warmth of heavenly light and air.

Dominika's avatar

That's so funny. Some of my kids have had the kind of hair that sticks up on end in infancy and I always think they look like little birds haha.

Joseph Stitt's avatar

I'm so sorry for your loss, Dominika, and I thank you for this moving and beautiful piece of writing.

Dominika's avatar

Thank you, Joseph.

Shannon Hood's avatar

Death truly is the heaviest of burdens, especially when it is those younger than us (and your brother!). What a balm are the words of those who have tread these paths before us!

Dominika's avatar

Thank you, Shannon. That is certainly true that reading the words of those who have experienced loss before helps you bear it.

Rebecca Hoven's avatar

We will remember you and your family in our rosary. God rest your brother's soul.

Dominika's avatar

Thank you, Rebecca. I really appreciate it!

Sarina Gruver's avatar

This is beautiful - thank you for sharing. May John’s memory be a blessing, and may memory be eternal.

My own father entered hospice recently, and even though he has been ill for almost two decades, I still can hardly reckon it.

Dominika's avatar

Thank you, Sarina. The whole time I kept thinking of how death is the one thing you can expect in life, but somehow for all that, it's no less startling and terrible. I'll keep you and your father in my prayers.

Kathryn's avatar

Dominika, thank you for sharing this. I consider this writing to be a “holy place” and am honored to share in it. It made me cry. Continued prayers for you and your family. May John’s legacy continue to shine through each of you.

Dominika's avatar

Thank you for your kind words and for your prayers, Kathryn. It means a lot.

MEH's avatar

Thank you for this beautiful essay.

Haley Baumeister's avatar

Continued prayers, Dominika. Thank you for sharing these thoughts.

Dominika's avatar

Thank you, Haley.